Samurai Cop.

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign. [00:00:06] Speaker B: Welcome to Pugsley Crew Reviews, a podcast about films we'll watch and talk about good films, bad films and all films in between, even if they mediocre like the last film we talked about. Again, Joining me is Kerr 9000. How you doing, Kerr? [00:00:26] Speaker C: I'm doing all right. How you doing, mate? [00:00:28] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm doing good. I've been playing Oblivion, the remaster. [00:00:32] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, it looks spectacular. [00:00:34] Speaker B: It looks lovely. It plays the same and it's got loads of bugs still, but it looks good. [00:00:40] Speaker C: Well, I'm sure Bethesda would say they're features, not bugs, but yeah, [00:00:48] Speaker B: good point. So the film we are going to be discussing this week is Samurai Cop, which I have only heard it in person. I've never watched it. I don't know much about it. [00:01:07] Speaker C: Same. I went into this with no foreknowledge whatsoever. [00:01:10] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:01:12] Speaker A: So [00:01:15] Speaker B: first off, you can see the budget is minimal. If anything. [00:01:21] Speaker C: If they must have had painfully loud. [00:01:24] Speaker B: They must have had like a tenner and was like, right, this film. This film on a. On a really bad. Well, actually it just. It looked like a really like, visually it looked like a. Like an 80s or 70s film, if you know what I mean. [00:01:44] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:01:45] Speaker B: Like the way the camera is. [00:01:49] Speaker C: There's a few things that make it look older than it is. And one of them is that, well, almost every shot in the movies done in a single take because they want to conserve film reel. But also, you know, like when you turn a camera off, usually it like has this effect where it dims. [00:02:12] Speaker B: Right. [00:02:12] Speaker C: Well, they were so obsessed with not wasting real that if you'll notice, they don't clip off bits like most places do. You'll see that dim and then it'll start. And that's because they didn't clip off the dimming bit because they didn't want to waste the reel. [00:02:28] Speaker B: Right. [00:02:30] Speaker C: Add on to that that there's bits where stuff's been shot with no sound and it's been dubbed on top of. And there's just other things like that that if you've watched a lot of film and you've got a keen eye, you'll just notice and go, this is really low rent. You know, there's. They're really struggling for money and you know, using every last inch of film stock here. [00:02:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Speaking of times you. The dubbed old, you could like loads of times people would speak and it would be different to the mouth where they've had to go over it with the whatever with like dub in it. [00:03:10] Speaker C: The few times that happened and people Sometimes talk with the wrong voice because apparently people had finished filming, been sent away, they weren't needed again. But then it was found out that something needed to be said by them. Yeah, so they'd just dub a voice on top. [00:03:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I noticed as well. Like a lot of the time they reuse some stuff. Like in the beginning when there's the chase scene, it's like shoot, shoot him. And they do out about four or five times. And there's another bit where like they try and attack the cop leaving a building I think and they say something to. I can't remember what it was even though I watched it like not long ago. They say something to him like hey, stop. And then another guy comes along, a completely different guy. And then this hey, stop. And then it's got the same ah. As he gets knocked out. It is bits like that. [00:04:15] Speaker C: There's a really fun game to play with this film. It's too late for us now, but if anyone wants to re watch it. You know how he's got long hair, the main dude? Well, [00:04:28] Speaker D: I didn't know this at the time but it makes pretty interesting viewing. [00:04:32] Speaker C: He went away, got another. Well was trying to get another job and he cut his hair short and then he was asked to come back [00:04:40] Speaker D: and he thought it was for reshoot [00:04:42] Speaker C: bits for long distance and that. And they couldn't get a wig to match. The only one they could get was like a crappy quality long female hair wig. So he agreed, thinking it was going to be these long shots and. No, it was like entire chunks of the film. So you're watching, it'll be like a scene where he's got his real hair and then a scene where he's got really fake crap hair. In fact, there's one time apparently where the wig nearly slips off. [00:05:10] Speaker B: I didn't see that. When did that happen? [00:05:16] Speaker C: I can't think of an exact scene. But if you like watch it piece by piece, it's clearly different here in different shots because I mean there's shots where he goes in a pool and [00:05:24] Speaker D: things and so he must have had [00:05:25] Speaker C: his real hair there, otherwise it would float away. But there's just certain scenes where you go that looks wrong. That's. And it is, it's fake crap women's wig. [00:05:35] Speaker B: Yeah, well when the film started I thought he was wearing a wig. I thought that's no way that's real hair. Cuz it's like, I don't know, just. I just didn't think it was. But because of the pool scene and Things like that. I thought, clearly it's not. But obviously if it's some points it was no wig into other points that weren't then that would explain it. But then again I might be wrong about the wig, so who knows? But I'm surprised. I'm not surprised he was wearing a wig, but I am because I, you know, didn't realize. Yeah, the film is. Is not the best film in the world. It's pretty. But yeah, it has some wonderful lines in it. One way he's like, when the film is starting, they start discussing this they'd like on the radio to Peggy, the female cop. And she's like, oh. They talking and she's like, oh, just keep it up. And the guy jaws like, oh, it's up and ready. You just keep it warm. And she's like, oh, it's warm. [00:06:55] Speaker D: Oh dear. [00:06:56] Speaker B: Dirty bastards. But yeah, the like straight from there. Then after that they chase some people down, shoot some people. Like I get set on fire. It goes straight to a scene with them to shagging. [00:07:10] Speaker C: Yeah, there's definitely some shagging in this. [00:07:12] Speaker B: One of the most awkward sex scenes I've ever seen. [00:07:16] Speaker C: Oh, painfully awkward, yeah. Thinking about nobody looks comfortable. [00:07:20] Speaker B: No. I think the second sex scene with the villains is also a really awkward sex scene that doesn't really go anywhere because he gets a phone call. He's like, right, I have to go. It's like a lucky man. It's always annoying when you get interrupted with a phone call. But another one liner which is great is when the chief is arguing with the lawyer for the Katana clan and he's like when he's leaving, like, you motherfucker, I'll see you in hell. Get a job. And it's like where the does get a job come from? [00:08:11] Speaker D: It's just so random. [00:08:13] Speaker B: It's just so random. Get a job. [00:08:15] Speaker D: It's like what there's a lot of [00:08:18] Speaker C: in it that just doesn't make sense. Like there's a bit where the samurai cop says, I have a neighbour next door. [00:08:23] Speaker D: Yeah, that's how it works. That's why he's your neighbour. [00:08:27] Speaker B: Exactly. You don't just have a neighbour who lives somewhere else nowhere near you. Brilliant. [00:08:38] Speaker C: They make a big thing about the samurai cop being called the samurai because he speaks fluent Japanese and I don't [00:08:44] Speaker D: remember him saying a word of Japanese in the film. [00:08:47] Speaker B: No, he doesn't say any Japanese in the film. [00:08:50] Speaker D: You could just say because he's good with a sword or you know. [00:08:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Thinking about the sword fights, if you Know if I'm sure? Same with the chase scenes. I'm sure they're just driving at normal speeds and then everything's just sped up on film. [00:09:06] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:09:07] Speaker B: Like even when they fight in a lot of the time it's like you can see it's been sped up. [00:09:13] Speaker C: The only sore thing that was memorable was this bit where he flings it and it off somebody's arm. [00:09:20] Speaker B: Yeah, well, there's a scene earlier in the film which I don't remember before. Basically they're talking to the chief and the chief is giving them what for. Because that's what they do in these films. Chief gives them what for. And one of the things he says is there's a guy out there was a guy on fire, a lot of dead people and a guy with his hand chopped off. I don't remember the guy with his hand being chopped off. I remember a guy getting his arm chopped off later, but not a guy with his hand chopped off before then. Cuz before that was the car chase. [00:09:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:54] Speaker D: Unless it was filmed out of sequence [00:09:56] Speaker C: or, you know, messed up somehow. [00:09:59] Speaker B: Yeah, But I did love it though. He's like, get out of my office. And then he leans back in his chair. The black guy, Washington I think his name is, kisses him on the head. You get back here and it just lingers on him pointing for a little bit. Then he sits down and just fucking grins and laughs. It's like, that's not what you usually get from a tough chief guy. Just laughs. Wonder if that was intended or if he just kept it in because they thought it was funny. [00:10:33] Speaker D: The funny thing is about this film [00:10:35] Speaker C: to me, back when I was like 15, 16 and we just got video cameras, yeah. We'd all seen Pulp Fiction. [00:10:44] Speaker D: And I wrote a script for a film for me and my friends to [00:10:48] Speaker C: make and we filmed it and everything. And unfortunately it's lost media because it was on those little cassettes that you had to like put a, you know, adapter on. [00:10:58] Speaker D: And it was about at the level of this film. Yeah, because the dialogue was as intentionally stupid because we'd got someone being the chief of police and the others were going in and they went something on [00:11:11] Speaker C: about, where's the money? Where's the shit? I've lost it. [00:11:16] Speaker D: And he turns around after, we can't find the shit, we can't find the money. He goes, yeah, but what about the drugs? And you're like, well, that's what the shit was referring to, mate. But then when I watched this, I'm like, it reminds me of like childhood films we try and make. That's how bad some of the dialogue in this is. [00:11:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:35] Speaker D: And our excuses. We were fucking kids. What's the excuse here? The way people talk to each other is like somebody's watched Quentin Tarantino wants to be Quentin Tarantino. [00:11:47] Speaker C: Completely doesn't understand what makes Tarantino Tarantino. [00:11:52] Speaker D: And he's just trying too hard. [00:11:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:55] Speaker C: And the white guy, black guy interactions, [00:11:57] Speaker D: they're just so wrote by a white guy who's never known a black guy in his life. All the stuff about your ass is black. It's already black. Yeah. It's just like, oh, no. [00:12:12] Speaker B: Yeah. There's some weird bits in there with the black guy. [00:12:18] Speaker D: And then talk about people being circumcised and. Yeah. [00:12:24] Speaker C: Strange. [00:12:27] Speaker B: Oh, I wasn't expecting that. Like, there's this, the scene with the nurse and she's like, hey, do you want to touch me? Do you want to fuck me? But your dick ain't big enough. That kind of thing. It's like, I like a bigger dick and shit like that. And it's like, what the fuck? [00:12:46] Speaker D: There was times where I felt like [00:12:48] Speaker C: the director wanted to make low rent porn. [00:12:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:54] Speaker C: And, you know, I'll just shove some in this samurai film, see how it goes down. Because I might end up making porn in the long run. [00:13:01] Speaker B: Exactly. There's. There's two, three sex scenes. They're all awful. [00:13:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:09] Speaker B: There's another scene where a woman has a throat slit and for some reason her boobs get pulled out of her top. No idea. [00:13:16] Speaker C: Well, why not? [00:13:18] Speaker B: No idea why. There's a scene where Peggy, the female officer, she goes to another cop. Well, there's not much for us to do. Do you want to. And he's like, shut up. But it's literally. It's literally like. It's literally that. Do you want to. I'm surprised he didn't say. Yeah. [00:13:47] Speaker C: My favorite thing though is that in the script of this, a character has got the name Penis Grabbing Henchman. [00:13:54] Speaker D: I love that. [00:13:55] Speaker B: That's great. That is genuinely great. [00:14:00] Speaker D: Can you imagine writing that on your resume as an actor? [00:14:03] Speaker C: Yes. And I was in this film as a vicar. And then I was in this film [00:14:07] Speaker D: as the Penis Grabbing Henchman. That guy has got the most awesome CV ever. [00:14:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Poor thing. You don't see the penis, by the way, everyone. [00:14:22] Speaker D: Although it is referred to as being the black gift. [00:14:25] Speaker B: Yes, it was received. It was referred to as. [00:14:28] Speaker C: Wow. [00:14:29] Speaker B: That's the funny thing though is like, not that I wanted to see a naked guy flapping about, but you see him standing up a few times after that scene while they're in the middle of fighting. He's wearing pants. Obviously you didn't want to be naked to do it, which is understandable, but he was still wearing clothes because he was meant to have got up the shower like, so he's meant to be undressed, apparently. [00:14:54] Speaker C: Penis grabbing henchman, the actor, whose name is Rick Garcia, has been in 56 different things, including the Shield, the X Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. [00:15:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:10] Speaker C: And Collateral Damage, the Arnold Schwarzenegger film. [00:15:14] Speaker D: So he's not done bad for himself. [00:15:17] Speaker B: No. Obviously the CV penis grabbing henchmen was a highlighted like. [00:15:21] Speaker D: Oh, it just sells itself, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. [00:15:31] Speaker B: It's a film that is bad. It's a bad film, but because of how daft the writing is, it's funny. [00:15:43] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:15:44] Speaker B: There's like clearly reasons why if you were to watch this, don't take it seriously because it's just. It's daft. It's not the worst film I've seen, but. [00:15:55] Speaker D: Oh, no, no. [00:15:56] Speaker C: You know, I'd recommend that. The way to watch this film really is get some friends. Rad. Get some cheap pizzas. Get a couple of bottles of spirits or beer and just get lightly drunk and rip the piss out of it with each other and enjoy it for the mad slice of weirdness that it is. [00:16:23] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's some. That line though you. I'll see you in hell. Get a job. It's still probably my favorite line of the film because it's just like, [00:16:38] Speaker D: it's [00:16:39] Speaker B: the whole, get a job. The guy is a lawyer. [00:16:44] Speaker D: Yeah, [00:16:47] Speaker B: I'm gonna stick at the end of this one. I think there's a lot of stuff in here that is. Is to laugh at. But you were saying on the last episode that say some people are a bit too into this or something. Good or bad. What was that about? [00:17:04] Speaker C: Well, apparently it has got like a cult following. There are people who, you know, are crazy with this film, but obviously as a sort of. So bad it's good film. Yeah, it's one of the legendary. So bad it's good. Not quite on the lines of Troll 2, but that kind of cult obsession. [00:17:26] Speaker D: But it's like we said with the [00:17:27] Speaker C: last film, [00:17:30] Speaker D: the worst thing you can [00:17:31] Speaker C: be is average boring. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:34] Speaker C: If you're crap funny, that kind of beats average boring. If you were forced to either watch this or ballistic eeks the server again, [00:17:44] Speaker D: I'd probably go for this. [00:17:46] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it's funny and it's got boobs. I'm terrible. Yeah, I'm surprised. I'm not surprised as I've got a cult following though, because it's a one of those films where it's. But funny. Like there is a samurai cop too as well. Yeah, I wonder what that's like. [00:18:21] Speaker C: Well, probably worse, but there's only one [00:18:25] Speaker B: way to find out. Man, you have to watch that one as well at some point. Not right now. So what are your final thoughts on this film then before we end [00:18:46] Speaker C: it? For the technical being a movie side of things, it would probably get two or three out of 10 if I'm gonna rate it for laughing at enjoyment. You know, the piss takey side of it, accepting it what it is and how enjoy. [00:19:08] Speaker D: 7 out of 10. [00:19:09] Speaker C: It's actually quite a funny watch. [00:19:12] Speaker B: It is if you know you're in [00:19:13] Speaker C: B movie territory and you know it's gonna kind of suck but you're gonna absolutely fall over yourself laughing. If you know that and you go into it, you'll like it. [00:19:26] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. It's like as. As we both said, it's not a very good film. In your general how good is a film, but in how it's funny in spite of itself, then you're looking into a pretty good watch because like we've watched some films that have been average or some films that have been bad and it just doesn't mean that much fun. Like we brought up a few times. But Cocaine Shark, that film was shit. Just pure shit. Yeah. And there was. They were like the first 10 minutes or so I thought, oh, it's quite funny. And then after that I was like shite. But this to the end, I. I was laughing at most of her because it was funny. Genuinely. [00:20:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:20:22] Speaker B: Whether it was intended to be funny is a different thing. [00:20:27] Speaker C: That's the thing, I think that is what makes some films funny. The fact they were actually trying to make a good action film but didn't have the budget that makes it funny. I think when you are intentionally it doesn't work because you can tell it's a fake, tacky, intentional shit. [00:20:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:48] Speaker C: Whereas real accidental, try your best, but it's just crap. Comes across much funnier. There's a sort of truth to it [00:21:00] Speaker D: where it's funny because it is somebody's [00:21:03] Speaker C: best effort given the funds they had. [00:21:06] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Tagline for this film, you have the right to remain silent. Getting silent. [00:21:13] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [00:21:19] Speaker D: That's a pretty good tagline. Really, Is it? [00:21:21] Speaker B: It is, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. I recognize like a couple of the people from this film and other stuff. Like the main henchman. I'm sure I've seen him in other stuff. And also the bald Asian guy. [00:21:42] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm sure. I reckon he was definitely familiar. [00:21:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:45] Speaker C: But then that's the weird thing, because the guy who's the main guy in it, when I've looked him up, he's only down as having acted in about six things, whereas old Penis Grabbing Henchman's been in loads. [00:22:05] Speaker D: What films have you got where the star goes on to do nothing and the weird side nothing villain goes on to have a long, illustrious career? It doesn't really happen. [00:22:17] Speaker B: No, it doesn't. Especially when they name his penis grabbing henchmen. Not that I'm aware of many penis grabbing henchmen, to be honest. I think we're gonna wrap up here. It has been a pleasure talking with you and I will hopefully catch you again soon for some more films. Maybe Samurai Cop 2, who knows? Or RoboCop 3. I've only seen some of RoboCop 3. I've seen, like, a bit of it, and then I'll just turn that off. I really like it all, but, you [00:22:54] Speaker C: know, not for a long time. [00:22:57] Speaker B: Maybe that'll be one we'll watch one day. [00:22:59] Speaker D: Have we ever watched Tales from the [00:23:02] Speaker C: Crypt, Demon Night on here? No, because that's one I'd like to do. Partly because I've talked to one of the producers of it before, Al Katz. He does a podcast which is called something like the how not to Make a Movie. [00:23:18] Speaker D: All right, where he talks about films [00:23:19] Speaker C: he's been involved in and all the crap that went wrong with them, and about how you were promised such and such a budget and got nothing or you had to swap from filming in America to filming in some weird location. I love stuff like that. So that's cool. And it's. It's actually a darn good film. Demon Knight, in my opinion. [00:23:42] Speaker B: I'll have to have a look at it. [00:23:43] Speaker C: But. [00:23:45] Speaker B: But that's gonna be us again. Thank you for taking part. [00:23:51] Speaker D: Bye. [00:23:59] Speaker A: Yes, counselor. And he has every right to be, but frankly, I don't give a damn. But, Captain Roma, let me warn you. You and your client, and you get your ass out of my office or you'll have to go to surgery to get my foot out of it. Get out of here, you asshole. Leave me alone. I got more important things than a shyster like you. Get out of here. I'll see you in court, you motherfucker. I'll see you in hell. Leave me alone. Get a job.