Pippi Longstocking!

[00:00:01] Speaker A: There you go. It's working. Hello and welcome to the Pugsley Crew Reviews Podcast, where we talk about all manner of films, whether they're good, bad or anything in between. We'll give them a watch and give you our opinion. Today I am joined by Kerr 9000. How are you doing, dude? [00:00:28] Speaker B: I'm not too bad, chap. How you doing? [00:00:30] Speaker A: Yeah, not bad, not bad. Tired. Does always. But there's nothing new there. You'd have too much recently. [00:00:42] Speaker B: No, not really. Finally got a hearing aid for my dodgy ear that don't work proper. Watch some films, as always. Been playing Yakuza like a dragon on the steam deck. [00:00:55] Speaker A: Nice. I want a steam deck and a steam machine. Just because. [00:01:01] Speaker B: Yeah, well, the steam machine's kind of a mortgage thing. [00:01:07] Speaker A: No, it's so pricey. Jesus, what were they thinking? Well, I think RAM and stuff have gone up and that's why it costs so much. I think they were going to do for less, weren't they? [00:01:15] Speaker B: Originally. But, ah, well, I think it was set for a lot less. But yeah, I mean, the steam deck, I really did bite at the right time because I brought mine secondhand off eBay. The LCD version 512 gigabyte of memory for 280 pounds. And it was like new with the case and everything. [00:01:37] Speaker A: Nice. [00:01:38] Speaker B: And you were seeing them in like porn stores for reasonable prices and then it was like smack after that. The RAM announcements go when and everywhere was up in them. [00:01:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:48] Speaker B: 150 quid. [00:01:50] Speaker A: Shocking. [00:01:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:56] Speaker A: So today we are talking about a film called Pippi Longstalking. This was chosen by my partner. She decided that it would be fun to have revenge and make me watch something really shit from all the shit films I've made her watch. She said she enjoyed it when she was a kid, but she was like four of them then when she used to watch it as a kid. So she enjoyed it, but like she. She knows it's a bad film and yeah, she made me suffer with her. Thank you for that. Stick your thumb up your bum. But, yeah, let's. Let's get into it, shall we? [00:02:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:38] Speaker A: The very first thing I got in my notice, it's dubbed over because obviously it's. I think you told me it was a Swedish TV show. [00:02:48] Speaker B: Yeah, a Swedish TV show. I think about 13 episodes. [00:02:53] Speaker A: And it was cut into a film. Yeah. [00:02:57] Speaker B: And dubbed into German. Released there and then, I'm assuming re dubbed again again into, you know, English. [00:03:09] Speaker A: Wonderful masterpiece. [00:03:12] Speaker B: I mean, essentially, it's just like if we were surfing in a channel on TV and came across. I was trying to. I was thinking of somewhat foreign, but I can't. But I basically, if you think about something about 13 episodes, visionaries. Do you remember that cartoon? [00:03:27] Speaker A: Yeah, Visionaries. [00:03:28] Speaker B: Yeah, the holograms in the chest. If we took that 13 episode cartoon, but we could only find it in Spanish, and we decided to make one film out of 13 episodes, cut it up and get people we knew to voice the characters. You'd about be where you are with this. Suppose it wouldn't have cost a lot because they'd have just had to pay some rights and pay some voice actors and bang, you've got a film. [00:03:53] Speaker A: Yeah. At least they made some money. Probably saved money and made money, I assume. [00:04:01] Speaker B: Well, I know it's got several sequels, [00:04:04] Speaker A: so yeah, I did notice, like Pippi Goes Abroad and Pippi Poops Her Pants and like that. I don't think the last. The last thing I said is actually a Pippi Longstocking film, but you never know. I think it's like a cartoon and a show and. [00:04:27] Speaker B: I think. Yeah, I can remember there being a cartoon of it. And I'm pretty sure I've heard that there's like either another film or cartoon in like pre production or summer, so they're trying to bring it back again. [00:04:39] Speaker A: No one wants a new Pippi Longstone. [00:04:45] Speaker B: I mean, I think. Well, no, to be honest, it. It fits in the same void as a way of Dennis the Menace, home alone. Who's that tosser kid that's on TV now? The cartoon? Horrible Henry. [00:05:02] Speaker A: Oh, horrid Henry. Yeah, I know. [00:05:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, it's. It's all in that sort of vein, isn't it? It's a kid that doesn't fully respect authority. It's like a power trick fantasy for children. In it, you can watch this little kid be a. Yeah. The things you're not allowed to do and sort of feel some sense of freedom from it, I suppose. [00:05:21] Speaker A: I suppose. I suppose kids actually would enjoy it more. [00:05:27] Speaker B: There was people that said the original books and films were great and that, but then there was like some psychologists and stuff that basically said she's unhinged. And allowing kids to watch it is basically encouraging kids to become little wankers and stop obeying the rules of society. [00:05:47] Speaker A: No, you get out or you get. You always get like things blaming other things. Like people blaming other things for influence. But like, kids are gonna be who they are and, you know, the parents should keep them in line if they need to. Like the whole satanic panic with dnd, for example. Or music, rock and roll with the devil worshiping or comics. There was always something to blame. Yeah. [00:06:20] Speaker B: And you know, it's turned to the Internet now lately, really hasn't it? Or social media. [00:06:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Social media is a cesspit though. [00:06:30] Speaker B: Well yeah, it is a cesspit, but [00:06:35] Speaker A: there you go. So the film is basically about a girl who is living on her own and her father's house. She's nine I think, something like that. Around that age. And she's basically living on her own. There's a fussy, nosy neighbor kind of woman, I have no idea who she is who's like trying to take her in to a community children's place, but must be an orphanage maybe, I don't know. So you could see her every now and again and I don't know. Didn't like it. [00:07:20] Speaker B: No, I didn't. [00:07:21] Speaker A: I didn't like it at all. [00:07:24] Speaker B: But I think it was, it was painfully obvious that it was a cut up series turned into a film. [00:07:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:32] Speaker B: Because the story didn't. It wasn't a consistent start, middle end, was it? It was just a load of crap thrown together. [00:07:40] Speaker A: Yeah, it was one. I'll ask that in a minute actually as we go through the film. So at the beginning of the film when you first meet Pippi Longstocking, when the other children, I can't remember the names, Bob and Jane, they meet Pippi Longstocking. [00:08:03] Speaker B: Huh? [00:08:05] Speaker A: Annika and Tommy. Not Bill and Jane or whatever. I said Annika and Tommy first meet Pippi. She's sleeping and they wake her up and then they talk about how do you go to bed? And stuff. And she said that she tells herself to go to bed and if she doesn't listen to herself she then tells herself in a more stern voice and if that doesn't work, she smacks herself. So basically she slaps her own ass until she goes to bed. Which just. I, I don't get her. [00:08:40] Speaker B: Me. [00:08:40] Speaker A: It's weird. Yeah. It is not what you were smiling for. Mean, I don't make her watch bad films on purpose. It's never on purpose. Never on purpose. [00:08:56] Speaker B: It's. [00:08:59] Speaker A: I, I don't know what the films are going to be like. They could be amazing for all I know. When I pick them, I know they never are, but that's not my fault. And then in one of the other things that happens in the house after she says about smacking her own ass to go to bed is up, she starts playing with coins. Look, I've got all these gold coins. And she starts dropping Them on the kids heads and stuff. I'm pretty sure the one kid like holds his head cuz it must have hurt whatever it was. I don't think it was real gold [00:09:36] Speaker B: coins but you know still having something dropped on you. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm like why would you drop coins? I could understand if it was bloody cash, like notes, a couple of five pound notes or something. Ooh, it's not gonna hurt but lot of coins. It's gonna, it's gonna like kill key of someone's skull in. [00:09:57] Speaker B: That did give me a weird flashback to my young life when I was in like little, little school. Do you remember the really old weighing scales where they got the proper dense metal weights that you'd put on them? [00:10:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:11] Speaker B: And you. Yeah, well we'd got them in class. One kid picked one of those up and physically dropped it on top of another kid's head. [00:10:19] Speaker A: Oh hell. [00:10:20] Speaker B: And like you said it knocked this kid silly. His eyes rolled and he was like. And it's weird in it how something can just like make you think of something. [00:10:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:32] Speaker B: Completely non related. And as soon as that kid held his head I could just see this kid from school like holding his head with his eyes rolling. I thought yeah, that would hurt. Yeah. [00:10:42] Speaker A: And they were coins. I could imagine what a weight would be like. [00:10:48] Speaker B: I'm surprised he didn't kill him. But you know, clearly you didn't because he was there the next day at school. [00:10:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:54] Speaker B: Maybe you didn't get all the math scores right after that but he was there. [00:10:57] Speaker A: Yeah. That's crazy. I'm trying to think what else happened in the. I only watched it two days ago. I watched it to Monday. Monday I watched it. It's Wednesday today for anyone wondering because I said two days ago and. And then stuff happens and then they talk about having a coffee party which I've never heard of. And then it shows them what looks like using teapots. So I think they were having a tea party. [00:11:45] Speaker B: I don't remember that much of it like you said, despite the fact I'd have watched it Monday in the day. And so much of it just went in and then instantly left my brain. [00:11:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:58] Speaker B: And when I try and think of what happened it is like flashes of like yeah, there's the coins and then they end up at the. Is it the two kids, Mum and dad's house and yeah, all the people there and Pippi's like picking up hands full of cake and biscuits and basically just doesn't understand waiting a turn or being quiet in the corner. And the best thing is when those kids, like, get to a Pippi, you shouldn't do that, blah, blah. And she's like, well, I've got a plate of food here. What have you got for sitting and taking your turn? What have you got? And they're like, nothing. [00:12:35] Speaker A: She's right. [00:12:36] Speaker B: So that actually almost spells the idea. Pippi's right. Just go in hands full kids. [00:12:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Obviously, just after. After the. The tea party or coffee party, there's a scene with bullies and then she gets hit over by one of the bullies. Pippi does. One thing we haven't mentioned is Pippi Longstock and is someh. So she's like, oh, you. He's like, next. That's the first punch. The next one's gonna be worse or something. The kid says to her and he's. And she. And Pippi's like, oh, yeah, well, let's see what I'll do to you. And then grabs him by the legs and throws him up a tree. And I was like, ah, why? But then she starts growling at the other kids, at the other bullies. But I'm not sure if she's growling at them or purring at them because it sounds like she's gone. Not growling to me. It's weird. So I. I have no idea. It's such a weird film. Yeah. The bullies are obviously dealt with quite easily because one of them's thrown up a tree, the rest of them run away. That's sorted. I'm guessing that was one episode cut into another one. I got another note here, but it says, worst something ever. I really need to work on my handwriting. No idea. And then not much happens. Like, I think that burglars. Oh, yeah, that's what it is. Worst robbery ever. Because the burglars try and go into it, go into her house and steal her gold and she literally throws one up on top of a wardrobe and he starts crying, saying, oh, we only wanted some gold for food. And she's like, I'll go get you a cake or something. And then they try stealing the gold again. So she throws a cake at one of them and they leave the gold and run off. They could have still held the gold bag and run off, but for some reason they put it down. I don't get error, but nah. Do you know why they put the gold down after they got caked in the face or pied? Because I think it's like a cream piece. [00:15:16] Speaker B: Not at all. [00:15:17] Speaker A: I think they would just run off. Yeah, she's really strong. She haven't got super speed. Now we get into the weirdest part of the film where she goes around Pippi Longstalking, telling everyone or asking them if either a they have spunk that she can buy or she has spunk. In America, I know spunk is a term for, like, [00:15:53] Speaker B: get up and go [00:15:54] Speaker A: see nuts and get up and go and stuff. In the UK, spunk is not that. In the UK, this kid is talking about semen for about 20 minutes. [00:16:04] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:16:09] Speaker A: It is awful. There is too much spunk talk, let's put it that way, because she. She literally goes into a shop and asks if she can buy spunk. The guy's like, oh, are you sure you don't mean something else? And she's like, no, I want spunk. And he's like, oh, well, try the grocers, they might have some spunk. And I'm thinking, what the. I made up a new word. Spunk. [00:16:32] Speaker B: I love it. [00:16:35] Speaker A: You know at the end. Yeah. [00:16:36] Speaker B: When you. When you have a quote for this, you don't need to take something from. From the film to end this on. You need to end it on. You said there's too much spunk in this film. [00:16:48] Speaker A: There is too much spunk in this film. [00:16:51] Speaker B: I'm actually crying here. It's. [00:16:55] Speaker A: It should not be rated G. It should be rated 18. She does. She goes from one shop to another shop saying she needs to buy spunk, then she goes somewhere else saying she's got loads of spunk. And then she goes to a doctor who then checks her heartbeat and stuff, and he's like, oh, yeah, you, you. Your spunk is gone. Don't worry, there's no spunk. Checks are free of charge. I'm like, what the. [00:17:25] Speaker B: No, it's weird, but I do. It's one of those things where it's something that just doesn't translate, isn't it? [00:17:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:35] Speaker B: You know, I'm sure that was witty in the original dialect and Tert, but to us it's just incredibly amusing for all the wrong reasons. [00:17:45] Speaker A: Yeah, it is, it is. There you go. Later on, then, after the spunk, Pippi decides to get a hot air balloon and they all go for a little a ride. The police are chasing them for some reason because they're not allowed to use a hot air balloon, I think. I don't know. At the same time, the robbers break into Pippi's house and steal her gold. And you think, oh, they've got away with it this time. And they do get away with it for a Long while. But then Pippi comes along and steals the money back from her hot air bloom with a really. With a really, really long stick, which didn't look long enough to reach them from our high up they were, to be honest. But then it was long enough. So I guess she got a extending pole like in Dragon Ball or Monkey. Because he got a staff that Stens, isn't he? [00:18:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:48] Speaker A: Which obviously Dragon Ball was originally based on Journey to the West. Yeah. [00:18:54] Speaker B: Oh, I love that bit where it's in the churchyard when they're in the hot air balloon and that bloke goes to tell the priest that he's seen him and when they come back, they're not there anymore. It says something on the lines of him always drinking or summer. [00:19:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I basically. I actually got you as like, hippie cured the alky. He drinking too much. You need to stop. He's like, I'll never touch another drop. Because there's kids up on the. Whatever. Obviously after that, then it. After that it goes. It goes back to the house. Does they have a house party? Because her father comes home. Because no one believed she had a father. Her mother must be dead because she keeps saying she's in heaven and, well, she keeps saying she's with angels or something. She's looking at her from the sky. Something like that. So she goes back to have a house party with her father and her friends and all the kids from the town and all the people off her father's ship because her father is a captain who fell off a ship and ended up king in a country. Another country. Fuck knows. It doesn't make any sense to me. Really daft. And the decorations were all being put up, but then I noticed some of the decorations were sausages in a tree. The sausages in a tree, not the actual fuck. Who would put sausages in a tree? [00:20:35] Speaker B: Maybe it's something Swedish we're not privy to. [00:20:38] Speaker A: Might be. [00:20:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:40] Speaker A: But another thing I'm confused about is there's one scene in the film where Pippi goes into a shop, sweet shop owners, one coin of gold and gives it to the shopkeeper. And the shopkeeper's like, just take whatever you want. You can have as much as you like kind of thing. She walks up with fucking loads of sweets. And then in the house, she. The kids are talking to her and she's like, oh, all my gold is gone. And I'm like, what the fuck has she spent all our gold on? Where the hell did it all go? [00:21:13] Speaker B: Yeah, well, that's true, innit? Because she had an entire massive bag full. [00:21:16] Speaker A: Yeah. And the. The thieves who stole it counted it and she had well over a thousand pieces of gold. And that was after she bought stuff like medicine that she played with and left on the steps and walked off. [00:21:31] Speaker B: Yeah, that was weird. The medicine thing. [00:21:35] Speaker A: I want medicine. What kind of medicine? Medicine for sick something. Medicine for sickness. Okay, I'll give you lots of medicine. Even though you're a nine year old child. I'll sell you loads of drugs. All the drugs. I don't get it. Maybe there's a lot more to it in the series because obviously they're gonna have to have cut out a lot from. For the film. If the. The episodes are 30 minutes long and there's 13, you said. Or was it 11? 11 episodes? [00:22:12] Speaker B: I don't think, though, the, the second film is episodes from the TV series as well. So I'm imagining this is half of them maybe. [00:22:22] Speaker A: Right. There's still like, I know, say two and a half hours. Not that much cut out really. Half hours. [00:22:30] Speaker B: Half of it, really. Yeah, I'd say, yeah. [00:22:36] Speaker A: And yeah, she's going to leave with her father after one. One. One more thing. Those sausages were hanging in a tree as decorations. I'm sure that boy, Tommy or whatever his name is, was eating the raw sausages. At least it looked like they were raw sausages he was eating. And I'm like, why would you eat raw sausages? So all he didn't see you can eat the most. And then they have a food fight. And then Pippi's leaving to go with her father to where he lives now. And she decides, I've known these kids for all of two days. I'm staying with them. I don't want to live with you, dad, you mate. And then she jumps off the ship and goes back to her friends. And I'm like, my missus pointed it out to me because I was like, oh, I don't care about this film. And she's like, she's decided to stick with her two new friends who she's known for like a week, say at most, instead of her own father. And she's nine. So it's like, what does that say about her father? He's a twat. [00:23:43] Speaker B: Yeah. It doesn't say much good, does it? [00:23:45] Speaker A: No. Oh, right. This is the question I wanted to ask you earlier because I don't know if I missed something. When Pippi is planning on leaving and then comes back, prisoners here and are watching her say, no, look, the bag of gold. But they were in prison when you last saw them, to my memory, they escaped on a motorbike from the police. [00:24:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:18] Speaker A: So how the were they back in jail? [00:24:22] Speaker B: I think it's got to be something to do with the editing because as [00:24:26] Speaker A: soon as I saw it was like, how were they there? [00:24:30] Speaker B: There must have been something where they got reapprehended. [00:24:34] Speaker A: Yeah. You'd think they would show that if they're gonna show the prisoners back in prison going, oh, her gold. We must steal it again. [00:24:46] Speaker B: Because I. I get the feeling the whole point of them is that they are in and out constantly, that they're essentially just bad crooks. But then the police are so crap that, you know. [00:24:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:00] Speaker B: It's a never ending cat and mouse. [00:25:04] Speaker A: Yeah. But I don't know, it's. It's not a good film. I think little kids might like it, and especially not to sound sexist, especially little girls, because I think Pippi would be a good kind of girls can do many things kind of thing. So I think that would be kind of like a. Not a role model, but, you know, someone that can inspire them. But for me as a 41 year old dude. [00:25:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:41] Speaker A: Awful film. [00:25:43] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:25:45] Speaker A: I don't think the missus enjoyed it now. She did when she was a kid, but a little kid, like. But she said she just wanted to put something on that she knows would be crap because she's made. I've made her watch too much crap. And she said, you can also suffer. And she says she's gonna get a film for other people who've made her watch crap films, who've suggested films come watch as well. I was like, fair enough. [00:26:06] Speaker B: The thing is, there is some films that you watched in your childhood that you love, even though they are a bit bad because the nostalgia sort of holds them together. [00:26:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:18] Speaker B: And you do. It's like sometimes when we've watched a film for the podcast that we're into, you think one thing, but then you can watch another film that's from that time period that you didn't watch as a kid. And the way you evaluate it is totally different. [00:26:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:37] Speaker B: I mean, I know the one we watched that I'd not watched as a kid that I was really liked was that. Oh, the stray dog one. [00:26:48] Speaker A: Oh, I know you're on about league dogs. [00:26:53] Speaker B: That's it. [00:26:54] Speaker A: Plague Dogs was really good. Yeah. [00:26:57] Speaker B: I thought that was amazing. And the thing I thought after watching that was just like, I wish I'd seen this when I was younger. [00:27:02] Speaker A: Even though it's probably traumatized even more than what shipped down, to be fair. [00:27:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:09] Speaker A: Oh, the dog swimming off and dying at the end. Spoilers. [00:27:16] Speaker B: But some films are timeless classics because they were made great despite the fact they're old. They'll always be great. And other films are substandard, but because you saw them in a certain phase and time in your life and it meant something to you, you kind of ignore all the crap and still see it as a gem. It's the same with games and songs as well and stuff. You. [00:27:38] Speaker A: Nostalgia can play a big part. Yeah, yeah, I get that. [00:27:44] Speaker B: So if somebody told me this was like their all time favorite film, then I'd probably go, oh, I bet they saw it young in it, meant a lot to them and helped him through some hard times or something. And they've got those nostalgic goggles firmly in place probably. [00:27:58] Speaker A: I don't think this is anyone's favorite film, nor with Sense anyway. So before we end, what would you rate this film? [00:28:19] Speaker B: Trying to be fair for a finished film? Maybe like two or three out of ten. Yeah, but they didn't have to put no effort in here, did they? No, the fact it's made from a TV show, we could do this. We could find some old TV show and just splice it together and voice act over it. Because I don't. They're not even fantastic voice actors, are they? I'm not saying I could like go and do the job of like be Batman on the Batman amateur series or something. I'm saying like you could shite your voice act over everything. [00:29:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I get you. [00:29:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:02] Speaker A: Kevin Conroy was the best Batman. [00:29:04] Speaker B: Oh, he's a amazing. [00:29:07] Speaker A: But yeah, I would probably give this like a 2 because I really did not like it and like I said, there was too much spunk. Oh, there you go. Is there anything else you would like to add about the film? [00:29:31] Speaker B: Just watch at your peril. [00:29:34] Speaker A: Yeah. If you haven't already seen it, honestly, there's no real point. Most films like the we discuss, I just say, yeah, it might not be that good, but it is worth a watch. There are some films that I say are not worth a watch. This is one of them, personally speaking, and Cocaine Shark was one of them. And I can't think of many more, but if any, but like more. So I'll say it's worth giving it a chance because you may enjoy it more than me or even less, but it's interesting to give it a look. Whereas it's something like if it comes. If like the mailman comes along and pops it through your door and says, watch this film. I don't know why they would. That's weird. Then just Chuck straight in the bin. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Crap. [00:30:30] Speaker A: The first thing I wrote in my notes is, this is shit. Jesus Christ. Anyway, I think that will be us, hopefully back in two weeks. Sorry it's been so long since the last one. I didn't realize until the other day when I looked, I was like, oh, it's been over a month since the last one. I would have sold it this sooner. My apologies for that. Hopefully, well, we will be back as soon as we can be, hopefully with Masters of the universe from the 80s. But I'm not sure what's happening with that. So it might be after. It might be the one after that. Hopefully I'll be back with some more Game Shack podcasts soon. I need to sort that out. I think I'm gonna get what. I'm getting one lined up. And I believe Kerr has also started a podcast himself. [00:31:23] Speaker B: Yep. A short. A short game one. It's 17 to 18 minutes once a week called I Forgot my Own Podcast. Then zero. Zero Fox Gaming X. That's it. [00:31:37] Speaker A: Yep. Zero Gaming X. Check it out. And with that, I will say goodbye, everyone. [00:31:47] Speaker B: Bye.